miss_invisible: (gws: coffee sulk)
Dear Ativan,

You were first prescribed to me on an as-needed basis for panic attacks, and you were so good to me. Other meds often do awful things to my system, but the worst you ever did was knock me out, which was nice when I was, y'know, too panicked for rest. So it made sense for the pdoc to put me on you when I needed a day-to-day med. Just a tiny bit, just a quarter of a .5 mg tablet. Barely a dose at all.

So why you gotta play me like this, Ativan? I thought we were going to have fun together! I thought we were bros! Instead you make me feel blah and tired all the time as if I'm not taking my antidepressants at all. You crash me hard into twitchy nerves when my dose wears off, reinforcing my insomnia issues in the process. You make me incredibly temperamental so I get angry for no reason. You fuck with my appetite/metabolism. You make me bump into things and drop stuff all the time.

Get your act together, Ativan, or I will drop you so fast you won't know what happened. I didn't even want to add more drugs in the first place.

-Nyx
miss_invisible: (garfield: hating the world)
My therapist has been pushing to medicate me more for anxiety lately. My antidepressant, while doing what it says on the tin, hasn't done much of anything for the anxiety; the trouble is that I'm very sensitive to medication. My pdoc nominally put me on a benzo, but I suspect more to get her off his back than because he felt any particular need.

1/8th mg of lorazepam per day. Is that even a dose? Apparently yes, because my coordination has sucked ever since, and while it doesn't totally knock me out like a whole .5 does, it does make me tired.

It also does not last quite an entire day. Blegh. I hope this all sorts itself out soon. I suspect it will, actually, once the holidays are over, but in the meantime it's either vent about it briefly here or totally lose my cool. This is probably the preferable option, no?

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